It comes to you at the most unexpected of times; and yet somehow it all feels familiar to you. For as long as you can remember, you’ve been hearing whispers; voices constantly telling you that things are about to change, that events are about to be set in motion.
It is never quite an easy task, quitting something you’ve grown accustomed to. The road that leads to your decision to quit is bound to be filled with excuses and compromises, long-winded negotiations and half-baked convictions. That particular routine that you want to quit started out as a playful trial run, which then slowly blossomed into an addicting habit. And now it has come to a point when you know that it’s bad for you, but you continue to do it anyway.
“Everything that is happening, is preparation for the next iteration.”
I’ve come up with a few dozen lines in my life to try to make sense of the things that happened around me, and this was just one of them. I guess it was because for some time I felt that I was going through the same events over and over again, and though at certain times it felt exciting, I suddenly realized that it was getting frustrating knowing the ending to a story that was still starting. It took the life out of living, and everything seemed to be one agonizing routine.
It doesn’t hurt to think of things that might have happened had things been different; most would be sure to say that things might have been better had this been the outcome, or had that been the road that was taken. Unfortunately for me, and for the rest of humanity, the concept of time travel is something you’ll only read in science fiction. What’s done is done, so they say. I’m also pretty sure that even if I took the other path, I’d find some new reason to make me silent with contemplation.
I once wrote something about patterns, and how I had gotten tired of them. I had gotten tired of being the punchline in a joke that was never even funny in the first place. It was like having a TV series running for six or seven seasons, all with just the same episode playing over and over again. Running the same gag routine was becoming annoying already.
Sa tuwing me bago, asahan mong pagkakaguluhan ito. Kung bagong sapatos yan, asahan mong di ka titigil sa kakalakad. Kung bagong damit yan, malamang suot-suot mo yan sa tuwing may lakad ka. At kung bagong presidente yan, asahan mong me banda, artista, at magarbong media coverage.
Kaninang nanonood ako sa maliit naming telebisyon, hindi ko maiwasang maikumpara ang mga napapanood ko sa mga nagdaang inagurasyon na nakita ko. Bakit hindi, eh parang wala namang pinag-iba. Nag-iba siguro ang tugtugin, pero nariyan pa rin ang mga awitin na ang tema ay lagi na lang tungkol sa “paghahanap ng pagbabago”. Mga kanta na tunay nga namang nakaka-antig ng damdamin, yung tipong pagkarinig mo eh maniniwala kang bukas na bukas eh maayos na ang lahat.