The Next Five Years

Any adult who’s been in an interview will have heard this very popular question at least once in their life:

Where do you see yourself five years from now?

 

With everything that’s been happening in my life right now, I can’t help but look back at how my life was back then. To quote something I wrote five years ago in A State Of Felicity, “A lot of things had changed.” And it’s the same now.

The first thing that I’ll probably say if I’m asked what’s new in my life would probably be that.. I’m a father! It’s a very exhilarating time for me and my wife today. And to tell you honestly, I don’t think I can contain the happiness that I’m feeling right now. With every week that my wife and I learn more about what’s happening with our baby inside her womb, the more and more excited we are to finally see our little one.

Now I take a step back, and I look at myself five years ago. Fatherhood back then was an alien concept to me. I remember when I’d go out with my college friends, and we’d talk about the future. The scenario that I’d always see in my mind was that one of us had a family, and the rest of us were still single, visiting them at their home, enjoying grilled barbecue and drinking ice-cold cola and watching whatever was on TV. It wasn’t really imaginative, the future that I saw. I merely extended the reality that I was experiencing at the time. To the point that I was already imagining my friend’s soon-to-be-born daughter asking us years later: “Uhm.. Uncle, what does it mean.. forever alone?”

Well what could I say to that, right? Back then, I was single. By choice, and by circumstance. I mean, I had already learned to accept that it just wasn’t happening. Even my dreams were discouraging, as I wrote in Visions Of Impossibility. It had come to a point wherein I was starting to see the same pattern again. Like a drawn-out television sitcom, with the same recurring sub-plot happening every season. I had already accepted what my life was back then, and I no longer expected any deviation whatsoever to happen in my life. If someone asked me where I’d see myself in life five years from that day, I would’ve probably answered “Same, same” with a shrug.

But things are definitely not the same. I’d like to think that God was just waiting for me to accept the situation I was in, before He could sign off on releasing the chain of events that would significantly change my life forever. Or that He was waiting patiently while I bungled my way through life. I could imagine the angels shaking their heads every time I made a mess out of things. Exasperated, they’d look at God and ask, “Now?”, and God would reply “Not yet,” with a smug look on His face.

There are things that I once thought impossible five years ago, that are happening to me right now. There are things that I once thought would never change, but funny enough, they have. The times when I thought that my world was ending, I didn’t know back then that it was just the beginning. The beginning of a new chapter. The beginning of a new adventure.

So if you ask me where would I see myself five years from now, I probably won’t be able to give you an exact, detailed description. But I can tell you this: Wherever life takes me– ready or not— I’ll be there.

 

Whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there
With open arms and open eyes, yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there, I’ll be there
-Incubus, “Drive”

-Ed. E.

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