Plus One

I remember when one of my college buddies asked me to be the Best Man at his wedding, a few weeks from that day; we were all happy and excited when we found out that he was going to get married! And, of all the thoughts about what to wear, or what to do at the wedding, there was one particular thought that came to my mind: Who would be my +1?

I don’t know if it’s an unspoken rule between single men, wherein a friend’s wedding instantly becomes a golden date opportunity. A somewhat diabolically clever opportunity, actually. Going back a few years ago, this was my train of thought:

  1. I like someone. I really like her a lot.
  2. I want to ask her out on an intimate date, or take her someplace fancy.
  3. Weddings are fancy events. They’re also intimate, and quite romantic.
  4. Girls love weddings. I think it brings out the hopeless romantic inside them.
  5. I’m going to ask her if she’d like to go to the wedding– with me!

My logic dictates that since this wedding is a personal event, and that the bride and groom have invited only people close to them, it follows that whoever I invite as my +1 is someone I consider to be very close to (or want to be really close to, by the time the couple says “I do”).

Back then, I considered it a most genius plan. It was the perfect opportunity for me to let that girl that I liked back then know that I liked her. That she’s really special to me. Because let’s all be honest here; guys will invite girls to weddings mostly because they want to go out on a date with them. It’s like the wedding itself is one big wingman. Don’t ever believe a guy who tells you he wants to bring a girl to your wedding for no reason at all. To paraphrase Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi™, “It’s a crap!”

Looking back now, I realized that my perfect plan was actually a selfish one. Four years ago, it didn’t concern me that none of my friends personally knew this girl who I was bringing along with me, especially the bride and groom. And come to think of it, I’ll be taking her out on a date filled with food and entertainment, which somebody else paid for. It was going to be a sponsored all-expenses paid date; all I had to do was take her along with me to the venue.

In my defense, I did avoid imposing on my friend the ultimatum that if I couldn’t bring a +1, I wouldn’t go to their wedding. Nor did I tell him that my +1 and I will be attending only up until the ceremony. Even then, I knew it would be a rude thing to say. After all, it was an invitation, not a negotiation.

So what happened next? Well, nothing, actually. As it turned out, the girl that I liked was already in a relationship, so I didn’t have a +1 at my friend’s wedding. But I’m really glad I didn’t bring anyone with me, because if I did, I would have certainly found a way to make that day all about me and her, instead of the bride and groom. It was their day after all, and it was my greatest honor to be personally invited to share in their happiness. Besides, in a few more years, I’ll be going to another wedding with a really special girl, and this time, she won’t be just my +1; she’ll be THE ONE.

But of course, I didn’t know that yet back then. :)

-Ed. E.

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