Another Dreary Night

Stars. Tiny little dots that light up the night sky. Sometimes, you’ll see clouds. You know they’re clouds, because of the illumination brought by the light of the moon. Hah, the moon. I could just stare at it for hours, and I still wouldn’t be close enough to reaching it. It would be just like when I was a kid, wishing to see space using a high-power telescope. I’m still light-years away from realizing that dream.

I cross the almost vacant street. There’s a certain sense of peace and contentment, in being alone. Like being in an empty movie theater. There’s no one else around to distract you from what’s in front of you. None of that annoying chatter, or that irritating shriek of laughter. You have time enough for yourself to focus on what’s really important, what really matters. It’s nights like these when I find myself staring blankly into the abyss above me. Thinking. Reflecting. Contemplating.

Thoughts. What are thoughts? Incoherent strings of ideas and fantasies that criss-cross across your brain? A home movie in my mind, playing a replay of past events? A crystal ball, trying to pass off odd predictions of things to come? Sometimes, I just turn off the volume on my brain to a minimum level, like the relaxing hum of a well-tuned machine. No more thinking, if only for just a few hours.

When I finally get to it though, I find myself on an endless quest for answers. What would be the better way to make it work? How should I go about with this situation? What more can I do to improve the human condition? Or myself, for that matter? Perhaps most fitting though, as I make my way across the empty asphalted road.. Where do I go from here?

 

All these miles travelled, and I’m still far from the answer.

 
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I’m the only one and I walk alone

-Green Day, “Boulevard Of Broken Dreams”

 
-Ed. E.

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