Starting Over

Possibly one of the worst feelings ever in your life happened in the aftermath of a great loss. With your mind scrambling to connect all the events that have led to that incident, all you can really say at that particular moment is “What the hell just happened?” If you’re someone who’s generally generous with expletives, go ahead and substitute some other word for “hell”.

I’ve probably replayed the day’s events more than a dozen times already, but I still can’t figure out how things ended up like this. As far as I could tell, it was unthinkable that this would happen. That is probably where I messed up. I had been comforted with the idea that things have been going smoothly for the longest time, that I let my guard down. I was caught up in the belief that there was no way things could go wrong. Unfortunately, life always finds a way to catch up with you. And just for the sake of teaching you a valuable lesson, life will decide to shake things up a bit.

So what is the lesson? That nothing lasts forever? That you should always remain vigilant? That something wrong is bound to happen when you least expect it? That just like that, you could lose everything that you’ve worked so hard to accomplish?

Right now I’m still reeling from the dizzying sensation of not knowing what to do. Actually, I have an idea, but somehow that manages to contribute even more to my disorientation. The realization that I’d probably have to start from scratch, to work my way up again, to go through the same tedious process… it’s a bit disheartening, really. But it needs to be done, so I will do it. It can be annoyingly tiring, and it can be very frustrating, but I will not let it prevent me from getting my life back on track.

Eventually, whether it’s brought about by your own free will, or a product of your momentary lapse in judgement, you will have to let the past go. And from the ruins of your shattered situation, you rise up, and start all over again.

You fall down, you get up. You keep movin’.
-Bernie Mac, from the book “Maybe You Never Cry Again”
-Ed. E.


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