The Next Iteration

“Everything that is happening, is preparation for the next iteration.”

I’ve come up with a few dozen lines in my life to try to make sense of the things that happened around me, and this was just one of them. I guess it was because for some time I felt that I was going through the same events over and over again, and though at certain times it felt exciting, I suddenly realized that it was getting frustrating knowing the ending to a story that was still starting. It took the life out of living, and everything seemed to be one agonizing routine.

It doesn’t hurt to think of things that might have happened had things been different; most would be sure to say that things might have been better had this been the outcome, or had that been the road that was taken.  Unfortunately for me, and for the rest of humanity, the concept of time travel is something you’ll only read in science fiction. What’s done is done, so they say. I’m also pretty sure that even if I took the other path, I’d find some new reason to make me silent with contemplation.

I once wrote something about patterns, and how I had gotten tired of them. I had gotten tired of being the punchline in a joke that was never even funny in the first place. It was like having a TV series running for six or seven seasons, all with just the same episode playing over and over again. Running the same gag routine was becoming annoying already.

But then, I tried looking at different points in my life from different angles. I’ve come to realize that every single major event that has happened to me had been preceded by some minor event that had also been at one time, a major event in its own right. And each time, I had always managed to use what I had learned before to better handle the predicament that came after. It’s funny, but I was seriously starting to believe then that everything that had happened was not in vain.

Or at least, that’s what I resolved to do; to make sure that the bad things that happened to me don’t end up going down the drain without me learning a thing or two from them. I still find it vexing, having to go over the same scenario, but with each iteration, I’m bringing something new with me. A new knowledge, a new wisdom brought about by experience. In a life that has been marked with a string of pass and fail instances, I take refuge in the fact that the script has not finished running yet, and at the end of it all, I’ll be able to look back and marvel at how I’ve come this far.

Yes, certain events may repeat themselves from time to time, but like I said: “Everything that is happening, is preparation for the next iteration.” If I’ve made it this far, then it’s only fitting that I see it through to the ending.

-Ed. E.

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