Lazarus Crowe was getting restless. With each passing day, he felt like he could no longer bear with the emotions that were boiling inside him. Only a few more days, and he’d be off to a new journey. It was something that he had been looking forward to for a couple of years now, but now it almost seemed as if he were standing on the edge of a high building, and he was getting nauseous from staring down at the unknown that lay before him.
His life was probably as ordinary as the one that you’re living right now, so it annoyed him whenever the people around him made a big deal out of the things that he had done. He wasn’t a movie star, and he strongly felt that there was no need for his personal life to be made into a circus sensation. His departure was no exception either; he had a lot of friends asking him repeatedly to have one last drinking session with them, or one last game of basketball. What’s this, am I going to die or something? Lazarus wondered about this as he tried to find it in his schedule to fit all of the “last” things that he would be doing before he left.
Haha. Basketball. That was one thing he could definitely fit in his schedule. He had lost count of the times he’d spent on the court, for there was no doubt that he was passionate about the game. It’s probably something that cannot be explained in detail to someone who doesn’t play, but he felt at peace inside the court, as if he was playing against his troubles on hallowed ground. It was more than just a ball game; for it was where he could pour out all his frustrations, all his sorrows. With every shot that he made, he felt weightless. Even much more, when he was able to connect an impossible shot. At that precise moment, he felt as if there was nothing that could stop him from just blazing towards the heavens. His friends would poke fun at the way he immersed himself with every play, but it didn’t bother him. It was destiny’s game, and he was not one to play half-heartedly. He was not someone who would easily back down.
There were times however, when he would be at a loss on whether he’d continue on, or surrender. Some days he would feel overwhelmed with the pressures of everyday life. Lazarus Crowe, like any other man, had dreams that he very much wanted to see fulfilled. They weren’t exactly poor, but in his heart, he knows they can still do better. It is this thought that keeps him striving hard, working till the night merged with the breaking of a new day. He had a goal he wanted to accomplish, but like any other man, Lazarus Crowe was not a machine. There wasn’t anything wrong with having a dream, and having a desire to achieve that dream. However, the human body can only do so much, before it gives in to all that pressure. As his mind reeled from too much thinking, Lazarus stopped for a moment and breathed a sigh, to slowly calm his nerves.
What is it that goes inside people’s heads when they think of leaving? What would make someone think of going away and leaving everything behind? Is it the opportunity to start anew? Is it to find peace with the world, or be at peace with what you are, and where you are right now? Or was it the chance of just being able to break free from it all? These things probably applied to Lazarus, for all of the changes that have happened in his life. He felt the need for something more much stronger than he had ever felt before. Although he did say that he might be spending part of his time there going on vacation, there was no doubt that he was going there with a higher purpose in mind.
Who knows if I’m going to make it? Although his friends had been cheering him on ever since they knew he was going away, part of him had always wondered if he’d really be able to make it. He was no stranger to failure, and he knew that what he was about to do was definitely going to be a big challenge. Sometimes, he’d wonder if he’d be able to make it with just his unflinching passion alone. All of that doesn’t matter anymore. Whether it was here, or there, or any other place in the world, Lazarus was certain that it would be the same situation, different location. It didn’t mean that he was preparing himself for failure, but as he packed the last of his things in his bag, he knew that he would have to let go of all the negative things that try to bring him down. There was no reason for him to wallow in helpless surrender; but he could think of a hundred reasons to place his foot out the door.
In a few hours, it will all be over. But to Lazarus Crowe, this was only the beginning.