Möbius Strip

I’ve been looking back recently at past events and I couldn’t help but notice again how events keep repeating themselves, although they tend to change form with every reincarnation. It first starts with a chance meeting, followed by a shared moment that usually creates a profound impact on my whole being. It starts slowly at first, but then the Law of Escalation takes effect, and I find myself more and more drawn to that person. I find myself wanting to be in the same room as her, wishing with so much fervor to spend another shared moment. The gates of inspiration open, and I find myself creating artworks, literary pieces with so much heart put into it. I write these kinds of articles to show how much of an impact she has created in me. I see myself falling ever faster, and I’m enjoying every moment of it. The random smile that shows on my face is a testament to that.

Then, without warning, an abrupt halt sends me crashing back into reality. I find to my dismay that the dream has come to an end. I find myself reminiscing, as if trying to look for evidence that would prove that the events did take place. Upon confirmation, I then ask myself how things could have come to this. I thought there was something there, but it was heartbreaking to realize that I was the only one who could see something from nothing. After all, friendship was the only thing she could give in return.

But, there is one thing to be said of repeating events. With each passing, you get more used to the situation. With each heartbreak, your heart grows stronger, more ready than before to handle pain. But it’s amusing how just when you thought you’ve managed to make things right this time around, life sends you a curve ball, and it’s hit and miss once more.

Right now, there is one person that I’ve gotten closer to than any other girl. And to be honest, there is that nagging apprehension that I might relieve the same situation again. That I may find myself being set up for heartbreak once again. Lord knows how much I prayed that she be the one. In the course of our conversation, I’ve gotten to know her better, and with each passing day, I find myself liking her more and more. Save for a couple of hints, I haven’t readily confessed my feelings for her. It would be informal to say it via SMS. Though it scares me that she might also drift apart from me, I feel that I must tell her how much I’m devoted to her.

-Ed. E.



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